TWENTY AUGHT SEVEN WRAP UP: w/ Whitty Banter & special guest

EPISODE AUGHT SEVEN: snaps up or craps up?

*opening music swells*

BANTER: welcome to the annual presentation of THE WRAP-UP w/ Whitty Banter. i'd like to say that aught sev was for real. total ups and total downs but mainly a swell one. this year i'd like to introduce a special guest who along with yours truly will also give his opinions on fads both cool and those that took lodgings in Hotel Bummer this year. he's your regular BIG WHOOP host, a big round of applause for (reads card) Sqwit Burltoad.

*smattering of studio audience applause*

HERTFORD: uh, Banter? my name is Whit Hertford. not Sqwit Burltoad.

BANTER: peaches.

HERTFORD: what?

BANTER: if i'm gonna have a pie, it's gonna have some peaches in it. i don't care if ya wanna throw a pee-khan in there as well, or some punkin in it too - and i really don't care if it's a holiday or just a Tuesday...if it's pie, it's got LOTS of peaches in it. comprende?

HERTFORD: ?

BANTER: anyway, are you guys ready for a smackdown of fun?

*audience has gone home*

BANTER: oh my golly, calm down you animals. can you believe that audience, Sqwit?

HERTFORD: (punches Banter below the belt)

BANTER: (cough cough) eww, right in the Certs. alright, here are my downright love affairs of TWENTY AUGHT SEVEN:

pages
If I Did It? by OJ Simpson

uhh, you did. certainly not a cliffhanger. and i mean, Kato? sounds like a cartoon chinese dog. and that cartoon chinese dog is a house pooch by day, and a dog party by night.

tunez
Jordin Sparks by Jordin Sparks

debut album? more like greatest hits album, cuz once you get this CD you don't need to buy anything else. you will have this mama on repeat FOR-EVER. at least i do, in my Mini Copper, purple sparkle finish.

pictures
tie: Who's Your Caddy? & Because I Said So.

"Shake it Like a Polaroid Picture" guy in a "white people are square" movie. cuz we are. i don't count though, i'm half Puerto Rican. and may i say, Mandy Moore, although man-like is sooo sassy in this picture and she's chalk full of adult problems and her Mom bugs. the thing is, i do admit that when i watch her, i have a sixth sense that she definitely has halitosis. just a hunch, but i can smell it from the screen. oh, and lest i forget Diane Keaton. why does she insist on wearing her eye exam sunglasses all-the-time? tacky.

NOW I PASS IT ON TO SQWITBY BURLTOAD..... BURLTOAD ?

HERTFORD: thanks Banter, and don't slobber all over the seven layer bean dip in the green room like you normally do.

OK, here are my picks:

books
i don't read as many novels as i'd like to, but KING DORK by Frank Portman is too legit to quit.

music
any old Tom Petty. the new Maritime (see previosu post) is tops. LCD Soundsystem, Of Montreal, any Sondre Lerche, The National & The Arcade Fire's Neon Bible are blazin' good - and check out any ol' Les Baxter or Martin Denny, not necessarily AUGHT SEVEN material but a keeper nonetheless.

films
ALL of my absolute favorite filmmakers managed to hit GIANT homeruns this year in my opinion.

Wes did it spicy Indian style.


Joel & Ethan did it in gruff Western style.


& Tim did it with all sorts of dark gloomy London style...and tons o' blood style.


honorable mentions: lars & the real girl, rescue dawn, the savages, the assassination of jesses james by the coward robert ford, & 3:10 to yuma.

i am sure that i'll be able to add "there will be blood" to the mix.

boob tube
my lady and i are sort of redundant w/ some of these picks, but unequivoically Gervais & Merchant solidified their spot in TV history w/ the completion of Extras. one great show that pioneered a complete genre is one thing, avoiding the sophmore slump is another feat entirely.


i also loved this

these dudes


and w/o a doubt Supporting Actor of the Year

J.B. Smoove as Leon Black on CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM

LET'S ALL MAKE AUGHT EIGHT SOMETHING TO WRITE HOME ABOUT. HAPPY NEW YEAR'S!!!

wacko-aerobics.

great job! great show!

award for craziest, most inventive show on TV right now goes to
TIM & ERIC AWESOME SHOW, GREAT JOB!.

don't believe me. take a look for yourself.....

last of the 20s

november 2nd. The Hertford Twins busted into earth on that day. and now here we are...older.

dland beckoned to us, and we obliged.

A, E, I, O, U

slammed two Dole Whips. proud of that. in fact, we "snacked" quite a bit this time around.




did it up Blue Bayou style. the monte cristo / mint julip combo is royalty.



don't think that we did not double dip on The Tower of Terror, because we did. this little number below is further proof that i most often play the feminine role in our marriage.




but what's a birthday without the presents, am i right? the Taylors on Baylor introduced into our home Warioware:Smooth Moves for the Wii. it's boombastic and features tasks such as...

picking your nose...

and doing squats.


the festivities concluded w/ an evening of Apples to Apples AND Times Up joined by some real gangstas. the Nighty Nite crew was on hand and on the way out the door shot an alien film starring Klyle Arnie Arnoldsen, his future-y gadget and an evil hand chair. pure gold.



actually, the best thing about the celebration year in and year out is getting to share it w/ my little umlaut.

happy birthday to me. bring on 30. i ain't scared.

episode 2007: the littles strike back

finally this year i was able to geek out completely and make my halloween dreams come true. that is one good looking leia. eegads.

Darth Vader in Love

fonzie's rule

you will watch this and think that you are on drugs. i promise.

galactic disaster

staying with the space theme, here is a doosey that gets quite good around 1:40 in.

RIP

what once was,

never will be again.

jock at heart

training camp opens Monday.

while my Clips are banged up, i'll adopt these three for the time being.

fabrice fabrice

no one is better than Fabrice Fabrice. no one.

at the VMAs
part one
part two
part three
part four

Human Giant 24 hr. telethon
part one
part two
part three
part four

top 2 AUTUMN goodies

very excited about both of these babies.

already cheated somewhat though.

i have seen ASSASSINATION and i concur wholeheartedly with the lady's comments here Casey Affleck, Sam Rockwell, Paul Schneider, & Garret Dillahunt are especially awe-inspiring. not to mention the impecible cinematography of Roger Deakins

and i've also heard two great tracks from the new MARITIME cd "Heresy and the Hotel Choir".
check it:

PLAY - guns of navarone
PLAY - for science fiction

of course this is exciting too

i've already picked out my duds for this year

def-eated

this happened.



but, then i saw this...and was forced to give up my crown. good game, sir.

* note: watch as much as you can. there are some real gems throughout.


the fact that he is fielding "requests" like it's KOST FM is really great. i'm tossed between which parts are more highlight worthy - it's either when he burps / barfs in his mouth around 1:37 in or when he takes a much needed rest around 3:33 in.

the buffalo reconciliation

at this point in my living i've realized without a doubt that all grudges are futile. having a lack of love, understanding and forgiveness can be a major hinderance to a person's spiritual growth. also, that excessive criticism and negativity are poisonous. all simple ideas but easily neglected.

i find the buffalo to be one of the most magestic creatures on this earth

without getting in too deep - i have a friend that i recently reconciled with after a long period seperated us. this friend is the buffalo. i finally reunited with him this summer at Yellowstone National Park. His full name is Buffy Buffalo (see following picture). it was a beautiful thing to reconnect with this friend, whom i have not seen for quite some time.



the bond between this animal and what it represents to me has surfaced in my life in various manifestations in the past two weeks. the buffalo symbolizes to me respect, misunderstanding and quiet strength. all things i have had limited true knowledge of until recently.



the Great Sioux Nation believes that the rare White Buffalo is the great symbol of purity of mind, body and spirit, and the unifying of all nations.



being that a somber message is rather new to THE BIG WHOOP and my buffalo speech is suprising, rest assured my admiration for the buffalo does not even begin to come close to this fella's.

sibs

nothing's changed.

i know what you did on your summer vacation

here are some highlights from the Mausser/Hertford/Taylor/Jorgenson excursion

write this off of the "to do" life list.



and this.




i love you family.

za za

my sister coined the term "za za". it's when someone is a little too fancy or showtime in the way they carry themselves day to day. these are the people that usually talk louder than most, use their hands A LOT when they are talking, and most often they start sentences with the preface, "When I'm on Broadway..." - where do these creatures come from? Mars, you say? No, but close. 9.9 times out of 10 these entities are brought to us via the high school musical express. parents, keep your kids FAR AWAY from the high school musical. it's VERY hard to rid your mind and soul of the affects of a high school musical experience- harder than beating a massive drug addiction or weaning your child from tons of promiscuous sex. don't believe me? i think the video below is proof enough. BEWARE THE ZA ZAs!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. please pay close attention to both the foreground and background images - some "talented" hidden gems.

little britain

i kinda can't keep my love for this show contained.

smarts

rememember the commercials that use to have a shot of an egg on a frying pan, "this is your brain"? and then they fry the egg, "this is your brain on drugs."
well, this is what happens when your brain is on a lethal concotion of Beauty & Pageant.

dumbledore

proud to share traits w/ Albus.

You scored as Albus Dumbledore, Strong and powerful you admirably defend your world and your charges against those who would seek to harm them. However sometimes you can fail to do what you must because you care too much to cause suffering. Albus Dumbledore 80% Draco Malfoy 70% Ron Weasley 70% Harry Potter 70% Sirius Black 65% Hermione Granger 65% Severus Snape 60% Ginny Weasley 55% Remus Lupin 50% Lord Voldemort 35% Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com